Reasons….. and Excuses…

I have always believed in 1 simple fact that “Everything happens for a Reason..” and it has never been wrong (at least not in my case). There have been many incidents which consequently lead to various events in my life ( some of them being the best things that could ever happen to me).

I’m stressing over this fact because some very small events of my past ultimately ended in me being “falling” for my Nick.If i start recollecting all those events and make a post here, it would take me at least few hours to jot them down here. So i would rather restrict myself to the most significant ones.

The very first thing which comes to my mind when i think of reasons (or more precisely Fate) is our common “interests”. Besides me n Nick being attracted to guys, we both love painting ( Nick is an excellent artist), we both have a sweet tooth, and most importantly we both are big time Egoists . I remember i once appreciated Nick’s paintings and told him that i wanted to learn the art from him but at that time we were not so close and he didn’t even know my name then… Anyways time passed n fate(ie, some college festival work) again brought us together. we worked together as a team for a 3day event in college and at that time we talked a lot and had fun.. Then gradually we talked over messages and in college and we became good friends…

Very recently about 3-4 months back we were just chatting usually on phone ( we had chatted a lot over phone, seriously.. thanx to this great invention) and he casually told me he had a blog.. I asked him the details of his blog but he as usual was showing his tantrums and ARROGANCE and challenged me to find his blog on wordpress. I accepted the challenge and found his blog (which didn’t even have his original name on blog) although i never told Nick that i took help from other people on the  blog by putting up a query over the common group… Anyways this was a very major turn in our “relationship” as he allowed me to read his blog because he never allowed anyone to read his blog except his 1 very good friend and then me… ( i was on cloud nine when he allowed me to read that ).

Following this we became more comfortable with each other and started sharing many things with each other ( but even till now none of us had developed feelings for each other but i still think i developed feelings for Nick from the day when i appreciated his paintings and i don’t even care now that he didn’t know my name then because as Shakespeare said and now my Nick says “whats in a name…!!!! ” ).. During our many chats over the phone, once i came up with the topic of our past relations and especially past sex life (i suspected he was not straight and thats why i came up with this topic).. He refused to answer that but didn’t ask me to stop the conversation and went on with the same topic in a light hilarious way and so did I.. But i kept on asking him the same thing over the next few days and so he decided to tell me when we would come “face to face” and not on phone..

I eagerly waited for that day n when the day came, he confessed to me that he was attracted to guys and had been in relationship with them. I also told him about my past relation with a guy and that whole day was sepnt in chatting only(despite the fact that we were in the middle of our final examinations)… Even after i went home ( Nick stays in college and i at home), we kept on chatting and i told him that i have developed feelings for him. He initially said that though he loves being with me but he didn’t have the same feelings for me as i had… But that was only INITIALLY . Just after 3 days he said he also has developed strong feelings for me and i was so so so happy that i can’t express…

Then we decided to spend some time together “alone” without any disturbances or any interference from our friends. But this wasn’t easy for both of us as we lived separately in different places and staying over each other’s place had its own complications. And so we had to think of some Excuse to stay together..

And this lead to the Phase of Excuses which i would continue in my next post. ..

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