Friday, 22 June 2012 at 22:18
Sitting at my home, listening to those songs which you like the most, waiting for you to reply to my messages. But i know you are busy , far away from me, busy in your own world. Moreover after last night’s incident (my idiotic mistake which was grave enough to push our relationship at the verge of break up), i cant even bug you constantly now and as freely as i used to do before last nite. I m still not able to forgive myself and am punishing myself for what i did.
Last night i was missing you like hell but since you had to sleep early last night, we could not talk much and you went to bed after a brief chat with me. After that i got too horny and was missing you a lot and so i went to a gay chat site to talk to someone. There i found a guy who was also interested in chatting only. We talked for about 10-15 minutes and then i told him that i have a boyfriend. So he suddenly asked me to come on cam, but i refused for any kind of cam sex saying that i am a commited guy who is faithful to his bf. But he insisted and so i said i would chat only and NOT have any kind of camsex. So i switched on my cam and saw him in full clothes. But i could NOT bear that, i suddenly swiched off my cam just within 5 seconds and we did NOTHING.
But then i felt so so guilty at that moment that i immediately messaged Nick apologizing for the incident and explaining everything to him. In the morning when he replied he was too angry to talk to me. Eventually he started talking to me atleast, but i still don’t know if he has forgiven me or not for breaking his trust, his faith in me..
I would like to tell you all something. Today i realized the importance of a relationship, the importance of loving someone and being loved by someone. I don’t know how i got so lucky to have Nick as my boyfriend, a bf who made such an awesome dessert for me (though i liked jst 2 out of those 4 desserts); a bf who agrees with every non sense and most illogical demand of mine; a bf who missed his favourite subject’s class just to see a smile on my face; a bf who spends the whole night watching me sleep and in the morning gives me a great good morning kiss and makes my day; a bf who fights with the whole world for me; a bf who is always by my side whenever i want him; You are the best Boyfriend anyone can ever have. I love you Nick.
But what i did was extremely terrible.. I will wait for you, for your reply, for your forgiveness, till whenever you want..
Still at the end of the day, i miss you darling, i miss you my lovely boyfriend. I love u.. I wont repeat such mistakes in future.
Please talk to me.Please
I miss you.
I love you. ❤ ❤