I seem to have lost it. My mind keeps buzzing with a hundred different thoughts at any given moment and that is driving me nuts. So I decided to jot down here whatever is bothering me hoping that it will help me clear my mind a bit. So here goes……
Last couple of weeks have been crazy as hell. It would seem that both Rhys and I have been playing hard to get. Which is actually far from the truth. But the more we want to spend time with each other, the more we are forced to be apart. Would have been hilarious had it not been so frustrating.
I had to go home for four days for a cousin’s wedding. And I hated not being able to take Rhys with me. Anyhow I managed to survive meeting my extended family and came back hoping to find solace in his arms , only to find out that Rhys had to leave town for three days to attend his cousin’s wedding. 😦
He returns tomorrow but I shall be leaving town to spend the weekend with my father. 😦 😦
Is it weird ? This dependence on each others company to keep us happy ?
First of all, I apologize to all of our regular and lovely readers for not being able to put up any post since long. And you know my usual reason, I was busy with studies and work etc etc. hahahaha.. 😀
Anyways, this post is not about any particular incident of our life. Instead it’s about how i had been feeling during the past week. when Nick was out of town to attend his cousin’s wedding and i was here, in the middle of all the work and studies. Usually, whenever i used to get free, i would text or call Nick and ask him for lunch or dinner (whichever it is), or simply text him to say “I am free.. 🙂 “. So it had kind of become a reflex for me to take phone out of the pocket when i get free.
But in the past week, whenever i used to get free, i would take my phone (without even thinking about it, just a reflex it is now), and i would look at the blank screen of my phone, smile at my forgetfulness, and keep my phone back in the pocket. Then all the way back, I would be thinking about Nick…
I have become addicted to you my love… Nick has always been singing the song “Baby I am addicted”- by Enrique. And during the past few days, i realized the actual meaning of this song, and understood why u always sing this for me (I am a bit slow, sorry for that.. lol 😀 )
“Baby i love You.. I am addicted to you… Muuuaaaahhhhhh…” 🙂
May not be the best made video but it is certainly is one I can relate to……..
During my teens while I was still confused about my sexuality, incidents such as these made me feel really guilty and tainted for desiring men. And stupid for expecting that some guy would actually love me rather than simply lust after my body. I had all but given up hope of finding true love when Rhys came into my life, reaffirming my belief in love. So when i saw this video i could see myself sitting in front of that screen disappointed, hurt and angry at myself for not having agreed to whatever the guy on the chat wanted( Now, of course I thank God I had the sense to not agree )
Thank you Nakshatra for this amazing portrayal of a reality many of us had to face.
Today, when I was going through our blog, I realized that while I had ( boastfully ) posted the poem I wrote for Rhys quite a few days back, I seem to have forgotten to tell you all about the wonderful gift he gave me.
My apologies Rhys,
So here it is ( drumroll please )
A bottle full of memories……
well, technically its filled with sand and shells from our vacation on the beach but those grains of sand and half broken seashells are my most treasured possessions now. For they represent a wonderful time of my life, memories that make me smile even in the bleakest hours and a love that gives me strength to face whatever life may throw at me.
And as it now rests upon my desk, alongside a tiny piece of driftwood; I take comfort in the knowledge that I am loved ……. loved by my dear Rhys.
A very happy 2013 to you all.
It is a very special time for us because on the 3rd of this month, Rhys and I completed a year of being together. An absolutely wonderful day it was…… But more on than later.
Right now here are the few lines that I wrote for Rhys as a gift on that special day.