Ideas Anyone….. ?

Since i have been somewhat down in the dumps over the past few weeks ( and debated a thousand ways to kill myself ) I thought it might not be such a bad idea to go see my counselor. So I made an appointment for Friday afternoon and almost didn’t make it. 

My car, temperamental at the best of times, decided it was too hot for him to budge from the cool shady spot he was parked in and refused to start up. So I was left to the mercy of a taxi with a driver who though it was a good idea to lecture me on the falling moral standards of youth while driving down a busy road and actually turned back to emphasize his point. After several near misses I reached my destination. First order of business – text Rhys to please come pick me up after an hour. I just did not have the nerves to handle another ride in the death-cabs of the city. 

My counselor, sweet girl that she is, once again tried to convince me to see a psychiatrist about getting some anti-depressants but I turned her down. No way am I getting on to medications except as a last resort. So we spent an hour analyzing my situation and how I have managed to  fuck up a perfect life ( my words …. though she disagrees ) and in the end she suggested that I must really force myself to start living my life …. whatever that means.

So no matter how much I wanna stay in my jammies and curl up in bed I must now get up and go shopping, or dining or to the movies. Sounds like a plan, doesn’t it ? 

Except I spent the entire day today in bed ….. again…… 

Oh boy I need some serious inspiration to move out of my room …… Any ideas ? 

2 thoughts on “Ideas Anyone….. ?

  1. For starters, please start accompanying with me whenever i ask you to.. Secondly, start talking to me AT LEAST…

    You have no idea how much I miss my Nick, who always used to say random things abut food, paintings, culture, etc to me, no matter what. But now, this Nick is all about future, worries, life… Get out of that room. You gave me the courage to get out of my suffocating closet.. Now its your turn to get out of that suffocating room…

    Love always

  2. This is just another phase in your life which you must try to spend peacefully without troubling yourself much !
    I believe you are free now , I meant that you are unusually lazy , mark my words , you aren’t ordinarily a lazy guy , but for the time being , you are !
    so you fill in your brain with all stupid thoughts ! oh yes , Stupid thoughts !
    you would laugh at yourself after a month or may be after another year , how you have complicated things on your own !
    this is nothing ! Mr. Nick !
    you must engage yourself with many worldly things !
    you must not stagnate your thoughts !
    you must go out for a walk and help someone out there !
    you must sit in a park and watch the birds ! if and only if you love nature !
    you must get up and leave seats for elderly in buses !
    you must travel in buses !
    its wonderful to OBSERVE Humans in Buses !
    You must spend more time with Rhys !
    Be active and be a busy bee !
    try drawing or making pencil sketches !
    since I don’t know your hobbies or interests, I don’t know what to suggest , but you must take a break and spend a quality time , For you get to LIVE ONLY ONCE ! AND YOU DON’T KNOW IF YOU WILL BE BORN AGAIN !!
    Your life is gifted and so you are !
    so stop thinking about dying more than thousand times and start thinking otherwise ! 😀
    Will you ???
    and regarding the medications, I go with you !
    you don’t have to take them simply !!
    I Hope you Feel BETTER 😀

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