Opening up

Rhys and I decided to try an open relationship. And boy did we face questions! Mostly from within ourselves, a few from people around us. So let me answer those questions first – No, we weren’t unhappy / bored in the relationship. Yes, we are still very much in love. No, we do not consider it cheating/infidelity since it is a mutually agreed decision.

We have always valued open and honest communication in our relationship. We talk freely and frankly with each other and verbalize our thoughts and wishes without judgement. This allowed us to grow as a couple over the years.

Recently, we started discussing what are the boundaries of our relationship. In the course of that discussion, we came to understand that we don’t necessarily agree to the notion of fidelity being about sexual or physical intimacy. What is important is the feeling of belonging to each other, feeling at home in each other’s company. And that, we decided, should be what defines us.

Sex and sexual intimacy has been a subject of many a discussion for us over the years. We both are sex positive people and have explore our mutual kinks and fetishes, fulfilling sexual fantasizes as they arise. Now, we decided to explore down the path further by opening up our relationship to allow for sexual relations with others in all its forms – NSA hookups, FWB and any other undefined versions of it that may catch our fancy. The only caveat – to always be safe – physically, psychologically and sexually.

To that end, I chose to always inform Rhys about the details of my meetings – locations, timing and arrange a call if he should not hear from me in couple of hours. While I was initially apprehensive that it might be awkward, it really has not been. Here, I must admit I underestimated how progressive Rhys has become on the subject. Made me fall in love with him all the more with how warmly he embraced the concept without trepidation or ambiguous moral hang ups.

Of course, sexual health is a top priority for both of us. We are physicians in training after all. So we always ALWAYS use condoms and get tested for STI regularly. I also decided to start taking PrEP.

Excited to see where this experiment leads us. For now, its adios. We do hope to hear from all of you what are your thoughts about sexual boundaries of a relationship and sex positivity in general.

1 Comment

  1. Bravo. As you may recall, Dave and I hold similar views but our ‘circle’ is limited to eight other specific individuals who share our values and agree the same conditions. So, in our case, no undefined hook-ups, no risk of STDs, so long as everyone remains loyal to the agreement even when separated by teh Atlantic! I believe that they all will.

    Good luck to the both of you, and keep us informed…

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