Asking out….

Finally the last in series of “How Nick n Rhys got together” . Since i had promised that i will tell how i asked out Nick, so here it goes…

Planning any event requires a few things. Like-

1. An appropriate environment/venue (it was Nick’s room in this case..:) )

2. To create an ambiance suitable to the event. (It was created by the background music i played )

3. To catch the person’s interest in the event. (I did that very well by blindfolding my Nick.. )

4. A special unique component. (It was dance in our case since he loves to dance.. lol .. 😛 )

5. And finally the moment of asking him out (For this, i wrote a poem for him)

As Nick had given me a warning that ‘proposal for being his boyfriend be good enough, or else he will reject it..lol.. 😛 ‘. So i started planning it in late December 2011.

I knew that i will going to ask Nick out in his room only. Next was to find some music. I found a song appropriate for the evening after searching for  2-3 long hours, all thanks to you-tube. It was “Can’t take my eyes off you- By Lady Antebellum”

I decided to write a poem for Nick, although i m a poet and have never ever written anything before. Still i had to make  it good, so i wrote a small poem for him. It took me around 1-2 hours for the poem, and subsequent changes in the poem took a lot of time for me.

Next was to create Nick’s interest into it and adding a special component to my proposal, so as to make it unique. I thought of stimulating all his senses except vision. 😛 So i decided to blindfold him and then make him dance on the song i had selected. Then by the end of song, i would place him at  a spot where a small placard would be kept saying “I Love You..” At the same time,  i would ask him to open his eyes when i will be on my knees.. 😉 Just at that moment i had decided to recite my poem to him..

But the reality is usually different from what we plan.. A few issues cropped up at the last moment, like i couldn’t find paint and any placard to write “i love you”. So instead i had to use the only available form of color i had  -SHOE POLISH.. 😀  I got an old cardboard from somewhere and wrote my 3 word message on it by a shoe polish. Following this, my preparation was done for the evening.

3rd January 2012- It was evening when i entered Nick’s room, where he was just lazying around in his bed. I asked him to be patient with me while i blindfolded him and my sweet Nick did as i said. Next, i placed the cardboard with my message at its spot, and played the music on laptop. I pulled Nick swiftly out of bed and into my arms, moving our feet together slowly to the tunes of song. I did a little bit of ballet, whatever i could manage to.. lol.. 😛 (I am a very bad dancer, unlike my dancer boyfy Nick..:) ). By the end of song and the ballet dance, i had deliberately brought Nick to that very spot where my cardboard was placed. I went down on my knees and asked him to open his eyes.

He saw me on my knees and also that placard/cardboard. I started reciting my poem. At first, he was just surprised and couldn’t speak a word till i finished my poem. (Till date i don’t know whether he was surprised ’cause of the preparation or the fact that i used a shoe polish  to write “i love you” on a waste cardboard..lol. 😛 ).

By the end when i had finished my poem, i waited for his reply. He just pulled me up towards himself and softly kissed me.. And said “Yes, my darling, I will be your BOYFRIEND.. 🙂 ”

And that’s how Nick and Rhys got together as boyfriends… 🙂

Love you Nick..

Rhys

Some recollections……

This post is in continuation with  How it all Began or its the rest of the story about how Nick and I got closer and got committed. 🙂 hope u will enjoy it, it will be a bit lengthy this time as it is going to cover 8 months of how i finally had the courage to come out to Nick.

As Nick had ended the Post by saying that a text message “i’m sorry” marked the beginning of s deep friendship, it wasn’t so. After that message chat, i assumed nick to be my very good friend only to find out recently that he hadn’t considered me that good a friend back then. We used to meet up and hang out occasionally in college since we are in the same class. Had a few text message chat over phone sometimes and that was pretty much the same for around 3-4 months. After that he left for his hometown for vacations. During those vacations i had been stalking him on Facebook (lol i was so desperate to see him) and messaged him once or twice during those vacations.

After the vacations, i decided to study with him (and that was the sole purpose, I did NOT study with him for any other ulterior motive.. lol .. 🙂 ). We started studying together and surprisingly our frequencies matched and we could study very well and efficiently, though most of the time he used to take small naps in between as i am slow reader compared to him. Anyways, we had studied together for around 2-3 months and during that time, we both got a bit closer to each other (in terms of feelings, not physically.. 😛 ).

We started talking to each other more frequently on text messages. It gradually increased, as i would message him a soon as i left his room  after our study session. Once we had our special chat when either us were Dis-inhibited.

After all this playful act (or strategic plan of mine, whatever u wanna call it.. 😛 :D), we finally had our “face to face talk” where we both came out to each other. He started with his past relations, followed by me confessing about my only serious relationship of past. This was followed by a lunch at a restaurant which has now  become one of our favorite places to dine when we go on a date.. 🙂

That very same night, i texted Nick saying “ It was a good day today. We told each other everything about us. Except one thing.” Nick replied ” what’s that ?? ” To which i said ”  I have some feelings for you, from the past few months since we started studying together. I kind of like you.”  At that time, Nick wasn’t into me as he had been waiting for a positive response from the girl he liked since high school, lets call her K. Since he was still hung up on K, he replied to me “ See i appreciate your feelings for me. But I don’t think you cane make my heart skip a beat like K does when i see her. ”  By then i was so desperate to get Nick, that I replied ”  i know that. I won’t expect anything form you then. But lets just spend a night together. No strings attached”  This was CONTRARY to my nature as i don’t believe in  one night stands or hooks ups. I am a relationship guy. But I said this to him because i knew i could change his mind about me. He replied positively for that one night.

After  a week, we spent our first night together , not as a couple but just as “friends”.. Lol.. He left for his hometown the next morning. For next 10 days while he was home, both of us were dying to meet each other. We even had skype chat many times. And it was during this time, that Nick realized even he had developed feelings for me.. In one of our chats during vacations, i had referred to Nick as my boyfriend, which he pointed out and said “ You haven’t proposed me yet. So we are not boyfriends officially. Propose to me and do it well.. ‘coz if i don’t like ur proposal, i will reject it” (he still is such an arrogant ass .. lol .. 😛 :D). So I started planning on how to propose him. I searched net for ideas since it was my first time.

After he returned from home, I decided to propose to him.

How i did that, is also very special for me. I will tell you in detail in my next post.

Do let me know what do you think of our story…. 🙂

Love

Rhys…. 🙂

” I’m dis-inhibited…….”

17 Aug., 2012

While i was driving back home today, suddenly this statement just crossed my mind and i was thinking the relevance of this. Why this “unusual” line crossed my “conventionally thinking” mind. Then i realized what it is. The full sentence is ” I’ m dis-inhibited right now… You can ask me anything you want dude….” Confused..??? Let me explain ti to you.

Nearly an year ago, somewhere in August or September 2011, I got this message from Nick (and we were not committed back then.. Just good friends only) that ” I went out with some friends and had a few drinks and some what extra may be. So i’m drunk right now and DIS-INHIBITED. You can ask me anything you want, i will answer you……” Let me tell you that at this time, i had already fallen for Nick and i was just trying to find some opportunity to talk to Nick about gays,  sex etc. so that we can get more comfortable with each other and I would ultimately get cozy n all with him.. lol…. 😛 😀

Anyways, i thought its a great chance to ask him about his past life and his past experiences with other guys (if any). But i didn’t ask him anything. Instead i replied him back ” I don’t know what to ask you as of now. But i will surely ask you something later on. Is that fine with you..??”  To this Nick replied ” Naah…!!! You are being an opportunity right now. Don’t waste it. If you won’t ask me anything, then don’t crib later that you never get to know anything about me… You have the liberty to ask ANYTHING….!!!”  But at that moment i was more worried about him rather than getting secrets out of my drunk friend who happened to be my secret crush for almost past 3-4 months…!!!!

I finally replied to him ” how are you feeling ??? You need to get something to drink to avoid hangover tomorrow. Get something refreshing or light to drink and sleep for a while. Message me when your up and feeling a bit better…”  Now i don’t remember exactly what did he reply to it or he even replied or not because i think he slept after my last message and replied after many hours that “ I’m up now. But having a severe hangover. I’ m sorry if i said anything last night in drunken state…”  I was relieved that he didn’t remember anything from last night but at the same time a bit worried that he was suffering from a bad headache and i wasn’t with him to take care of him. Then we exchanged a few more messages and i made sure that he was taking liquids regularly and eating something at frequent intervals, so that he could get out of his “hangover”. 😛 😀

Interestingly, i never needed the assistance of alcohol to get “DIS-INHIBITED”. Usually whenever i was very sleepy, i used to message Nick “hey i m very very sleepy. And not in my full senses. You can ask me anything you want. I want to tell everything about me And by the way i get very emotional in these sleepy states of mind… 😛 😀 ”  My basic purpose behind these kind of messages was to create a level of understanding between the two of us, so that i could tell him about my feelings for him and about my past with a guy (as i wasn’t sure if Nick was actually gay/bi and what he turned out to be straight and then he might have humiliated me and left me, and i couldn’t afford to loose such a great friend).

Once around October or November, i remember that i messaged him in the morning ” Good morning..!! I had very nice dreams last night. And now i am having a hard on.. ” I know the last line was too random and desperate but i wanted to talk to him and tell him everything. By now, even Nick had got an idea that i wanted to tell him something and that once in a while i was trying to hit on him.. lol… To that message of mine, he replied (just to tease me) “It’s called morning wood.. And its normal… :D” That’s it.. Nothing else. Anyways, I thought i have tried a lot. So i just thought of giving up then.

But then a few days later, we both were chatting over phone normally, and some how the topic of past life (esp. sex life) came up and i said to Nick ”  I am so sure you never had any sex life.. You seem to be a boring guy and i don’t think you even ever had any girl in your past life..lol 😛 😀 “. To this he replied ” Don’t be so sure about this. You can never predict anything about anyone and especially not about me without knowing me…” I got a bit excited that our conversation was finally going somewhere and i might be able to know about his feelings and his past and i could finally confess everything to him. So i replied ” Is it Nick…??? Then why don;t you tell me everything about you right now and let me see if u ever had any past sex life or even have anyone right now.. What say dude..??” Nick replied “These things are not told over phone or messages. These explicit details of my past can be explored only in person, when we are talking face to face…”  Yes..!!! Finally i got what i wanted. A personal talk with him about our past and everything related to our sex life… I replied to him in a way so as to hide my excitement and show to him as if it would be normal for me to have such a conversation with him in person and so i said ” Sure, why not… Lets sit together some time soon and have a discussion about our past and about your “mysterious” sex life…. :D:D ” 

So we decided a time and date to have this discussion where we both finally opened up to each to other and expressed our feelings. And surprisingly, he also confessed that he had some feelings for me. What happened in that meeting would require another long blog entry which i might write next in a few days.

I hope you liked the story so far about Nick and Rhys. 🙂

Love,

Rhys

Before I knew Rhys……..

Time for some candid confessions… Today I am in the mood to tell you about my past, about my mistakes, and about my life before I knew Rhys ( and before I was his Nick…. ) So here goes, rewinding almost 6-8 yrs back to a small town somewhere (or maybe anywhere) and zooming in on a thin lanky boy sitting alone on a window seat deep in thought, the wintery sun lending a warm glow to his face……

As a young boy, I would often be found in this state, lost in thought and almost always alone. Not due to lack of friends, indeed I had almost one too many friends. But their activities did not interest me. Never one for sports, I would prefer to read a novel on a tree rather than discuss cricket or football or whatever sport had caught the imagination of my friends. As we grew up, cricket was cast aside as girls became the hot topic of discussion, indeed the world seemed to revolve around the possibility of making a “girlfriend” and still i remained disinterested, for I would find a flaw in every girl and so never ask them out. As a result, I remained the only one in my group ( kinda the A-listers of the school ) whose social life was not announced by every Tom, Dick or Harry. I guess that must have given me a mysterious aura!! 😛

As can be expected, I became the butt of many jokes chiefly about being “feminine” and “gay”. And being the arrogant and head-strong person that I am I decided to act like the most stereotypical gay I could ( please note that I was not sure that I liked guys, just retaliated by acting gay !! ) So started the era of fitted clothes and lots of music and arts and dance and flirty conversation with guys.

One day a guy from my school had come to my house to copy some notes. By and by the idle chit-chat turned to the topic of girls and sex and he began to tell me about his fantasies and his insecurities about his size.( honestly, even i was taken aback at his openness) and even asked me about my size. Very intrigued by then i told him but he didn’t believe me and begged me to show him.My room is a bit separated from the rest of the house and usually no one comes into my room so i agreed. By the end of the hour our clothes were on the floor and we had gone way further than either of us expected ( of course we were kids then so whatever we did was too much by our standards). The thrill of it got me hooked and I knew that I wanted more.

What followed is something that shocks me even today, quite a few rendezvous with guys I barely knew but never the same person twice. In fact all I wanted was to have fun, the thrill of the moment was all that mattered. So I went on and on….. Till one day it was a girl that i found next to me, and it was still the same fun. And this confused me ( by now I had accepted that I was gay and proud of it.)

By now I had passed my school and moved to a big city to join Med School (that’s where I am now) . After moving here, I discovered that a guy I knew from net forums ,etc was also in town. (At one point in the past I had helped him come to terms with being gay and we had remained friends ever since). We got in touch and he took me out to dinner as a thank you for all those times. We met a couple of times after that and he inquired if I was currently with someone. On learning that I was single,  he confessed that he had developed feelings for me and wanted to get together. I clarified that though I had slept with guys before ( and a couple of girls too…) I never had any lasting feeling for any of them and it was just about a physical relation and though I thought he was a very nice guy I wasn’t sure if I could give him any more than I gave them. He said he was fine with a purely physical relationship, and that he could handle me not having any emotional bond with him but he couldn’t handle not being together with me. I guess this should have been my signal to back off before I hurt him, but by then I was too addicted to sex to be able to turn back.

 

So for 8 months he doted on me and i behaved like a jerk and just used him. It finally got to the point where I began to feel a hollow deep inside me which no amount of frolicking could fill. Sex, though enjoyable, was just not enough anymore and I craved an emotional bond. And the irony was that I had a guy who absolutely adored me but I just couldn’t bring myself to love him in the same way. When I told him this, it broke his heart and he said that he had always hoped that with time I would learn to love him too.

 

 

Thus ended my first relationship, leaving me very confused as to why I couldn’t bring myself to love this great guy. I began to question whether I was gay at all…….. I decided that I would never again get into a relation with anyone unless I was absolutely sure I loved them and frankly I thought that was not going to happen…….. Then, Lo and Behold! I met Rhys………

 

That is my story till I met Rhys 

love

Nick

 

How It All Began……

One and a half years back I got the news that some students of my class were organizing salsa classes in the college. And since I love to dance, i enrolled myself for the classes.

Organizing these classes was none other than Rhys.  This is where I remember first talking to Rhys ( though he assures me we had talked before then ….. and it pisses him off that I don’t remember !!) Though he was in my class in college, we had never spoken before. In fact I hadn’t even noticed him before then (Rhys would point out here that I’m an arrogant ass as he already knew about me and had even confessed that he was a fan of my artwork! Apparently I didn’t even acknowledge him then….. 😛 ). For two hours after college, around twelve to sixteen of us would sweat it out on the dance floor trying very hard to not look like a bundle of odd angles and jerky movements. I loved the opportunity to dance and would look forward to these classes but unfortunately the classes did not go on for long. To keep on dancing, my dance partner and I decided to take formal classes in salsa from a dance studio and she thought it would be nice to have some company there so we asked Rhys if he and his partner would like to join the classes with us, but they refused.  It was our common interest in dance that made us friends.

Working for a cultural festival in our college, I was assigned to the tea and snacks station along with Rhys.  Over the course of next three days we worked side by side, catering to the gastronomic needs of the celebrities performing. While he became pretty adept at making tea and pouring juice and stuff, the plating and garnishing was left to me.We became pretty good friends during this time (though of course I had no idea what was to come).

One day, after the festival had ended, I got a strange sms from Rhys saying, ” I am sorry” . Very perplexed, I asked him why he was apologizing to which he replied that he had thought i was gay but now he realized that I am not and he was sorry for making the assumption. I was pretty taken aback at this because though I myself was pretty confused about my preferances at that time (the reason would take up another post about my past )  but i replied that there was nothing to be sorry about and that i was not offended or anything.  So we chatted for a while and I had the strange thought of getting into bed with him ( will clarify in the above mentioned post about my past! ) However staying true to my nature of over-analysing the most insignificant things, I thought that Rhys was straight and also a bit homophobic based on his need to apologise for thinking I was gay as if it were something bad to think about someone…..

That day marked the beginning of a deep friendship marked by a lot of chats over the phone and even more chats over messages……..

love

Nick

P.S.- 1. Subsequently we shall keep posting the rest of the story from becoming friends to becoming lovers! 😉

2. Sorry about being all over the place with the sequence of our story ( starting from the middle and going backwards and forwards at random) we shall number the stories in order after we have posted them all…… till then bear with us and our childish ways of posting!!!

Reasons….. and Excuses…

I have always believed in 1 simple fact that “Everything happens for a Reason..” and it has never been wrong (at least not in my case). There have been many incidents which consequently lead to various events in my life ( some of them being the best things that could ever happen to me).

I’m stressing over this fact because some very small events of my past ultimately ended in me being “falling” for my Nick.If i start recollecting all those events and make a post here, it would take me at least few hours to jot them down here. So i would rather restrict myself to the most significant ones.

The very first thing which comes to my mind when i think of reasons (or more precisely Fate) is our common “interests”. Besides me n Nick being attracted to guys, we both love painting ( Nick is an excellent artist), we both have a sweet tooth, and most importantly we both are big time Egoists . I remember i once appreciated Nick’s paintings and told him that i wanted to learn the art from him but at that time we were not so close and he didn’t even know my name then… Anyways time passed n fate(ie, some college festival work) again brought us together. we worked together as a team for a 3day event in college and at that time we talked a lot and had fun.. Then gradually we talked over messages and in college and we became good friends…

Very recently about 3-4 months back we were just chatting usually on phone ( we had chatted a lot over phone, seriously.. thanx to this great invention) and he casually told me he had a blog.. I asked him the details of his blog but he as usual was showing his tantrums and ARROGANCE and challenged me to find his blog on wordpress. I accepted the challenge and found his blog (which didn’t even have his original name on blog) although i never told Nick that i took help from other people on the  blog by putting up a query over the common group… Anyways this was a very major turn in our “relationship” as he allowed me to read his blog because he never allowed anyone to read his blog except his 1 very good friend and then me… ( i was on cloud nine when he allowed me to read that ).

Following this we became more comfortable with each other and started sharing many things with each other ( but even till now none of us had developed feelings for each other but i still think i developed feelings for Nick from the day when i appreciated his paintings and i don’t even care now that he didn’t know my name then because as Shakespeare said and now my Nick says “whats in a name…!!!! ” ).. During our many chats over the phone, once i came up with the topic of our past relations and especially past sex life (i suspected he was not straight and thats why i came up with this topic).. He refused to answer that but didn’t ask me to stop the conversation and went on with the same topic in a light hilarious way and so did I.. But i kept on asking him the same thing over the next few days and so he decided to tell me when we would come “face to face” and not on phone..

I eagerly waited for that day n when the day came, he confessed to me that he was attracted to guys and had been in relationship with them. I also told him about my past relation with a guy and that whole day was sepnt in chatting only(despite the fact that we were in the middle of our final examinations)… Even after i went home ( Nick stays in college and i at home), we kept on chatting and i told him that i have developed feelings for him. He initially said that though he loves being with me but he didn’t have the same feelings for me as i had… But that was only INITIALLY . Just after 3 days he said he also has developed strong feelings for me and i was so so so happy that i can’t express…

Then we decided to spend some time together “alone” without any disturbances or any interference from our friends. But this wasn’t easy for both of us as we lived separately in different places and staying over each other’s place had its own complications. And so we had to think of some Excuse to stay together..

And this lead to the Phase of Excuses which i would continue in my next post. ..