A lot has happened. A lot has changed. And yet much is still the same.
Yes, both Rhys and I moved to USA to pursue both our dream of being better physicians and being together. We are currently living, breathing and thriving in the frigid free air of the east coast. We live about an hour apart, separated by the Hudson, connected by the multitude of bridges and a mutual longing for shared silences.
Quietly celebrated our sixth anniversary, we continue with this beautiful relationship. As we grown as individuals and as a couple, we are questioning, exploring and pushing the boundaries of the social experiment of a relationship. So in coming posts, you may see us explore more varied topics – such as sex positivity, fidelity, polyamory, love and lust – alongside our more regular themes of the daily humdrum of a same -sex relationship. A disclaimer is warranted perhaps – neither of us are experts in social sciences and are musings will be just that, musings of two people going through life, jotting down random thoughts in hopes of telling a coherent story of a life lead.
So, this post is just me checking in to say hello to anyone who is still reading. Adios for now, will return when the urge to write takes over once more.
As the new year started, so did a new chapter in our lives. This is the fifth year that Rhys and I are together as a couple and what a gorgeous time it has been.
When viewed through my eyes, the world has changed in these past four years. So much so, that I can’t seem to remember what it was like before I met Rhys. Every moment of this time is so special that I would not change it for the world. We have both grown up over the years into different people than the ones who started dating all those years ago. And time only brought us closer together, entwining our lives and times into this beautiful pattern that our lives have become.
The better part of last year, we had to spend apart. And no amount of texts or calls would fill the gap that the thousand miles created. So it was with great difficulty that we planned to be together for a weekend and celebrate our anniversary. And that is what we did.
One freezing Friday morning, I landed in Chicago and into melted into Rhys arms. And my first taste of America ? A chocolate fudge cake he had baked for me. Nothing could have made our reunion sweeter. And thus began our weekend in Chicago.
Often I come across people who would say this to me in a pathetic pity tone “Oh you are committed.. You don’t know how it feels like to have random sex and hook-ups.” or “You are wasting your youth, your life.” or “Hahaha !! You can never realize the satisfaction in having random meaningless sex” or “You just a committed boring guy.” , and muhc more similar rubbish crap….
I wanna shoot out to all the single men in in the LGBTQ community that being in a relationship isn’t the worst thing in a gay’s life. I love being in a relationship, and I feel lucky to be with a guy who loves me more than anyone.
Yes I am a gay guy without any past hook ups or random one night stands. But I don’t feel that this is something I would regret in my life ever. I am not the kind of guy who can have random meaningless sex with a guy whose name I get to know in the morning after the hangover (and sex) !
No one has a right to judge me by passing such hideous comments on my relationship status, or by pitying me. Just because you cannot handle a relationship or get your shit together, that doesn’t give you any privilege or an upper hand in life to look down upon committed guys like me and say such disgraceful things.
Secondly, another irritating thing I have been hearing recently is that since gays are superficial, I should dress up properly so I can be liked by others based solely on my appearance. I am sorry but I beg to differ guys. I don’t believe that outer superficial appearance is everything. Stop judging a book just by its cover !!!
I do not and cannot bend according to so many stereotypes of the gay community itself that I would lose my identity eventually. We already have a lot of stereotypes of the straight hetero”normal” society. Please do not pressurize the people of your own community by putting up many more such stereotypes.
I just wanted to vent out my anger that has been piling up since a long time, and I had no one to talk to.
Good night folks !
It is the holiday season. Time to be with your loved ones. Celebrate in the closeness of a thousand shared memories. And enjoy the gift that is life. Except, Rhys is still in the United States and I at home. And if you didn’t feel the distance before, Boy ! the holiday season sure rubs it in.
So how do I deal with the loneliness you ask ? By binge watching videos on YouTube. Yup, that is right. I just discovered YouTube a few weeks back ( Apparently I lived under a rock until now ). And now I am glued to the screen. And just when I thought I might run out of channels to binge watch, the cutest couple I know posted fresh videos on their channel.
So here is the link to their awesome adventures…….
Go see the world through their eyes.
Here’s wishing them a loving home in every corner of the world that they visit.
Stating the obvious. Long distance is tough. Like really really tough. Barely a month in and I already miss Rhys with a visceral longing I did not even know I could feel. How will I get through the remaining five months?
It is not that I am lonely. It is just that even with company, I feel incomplete. These past few years have had their good time and bad. But through all of it Rhys has been by my side. And now I seem to have forgotten how to be by myself. This past weekend some friends of mine took me to a party ( coz I have been staying cooped up in my room.) It was a lovely venue and ordinarily I would have enjoyed myself, but it just felt weird to be by myself. I felt like an odd bundle of elbows and knees. It just doesn’t feel right to dance with anyone else anymore ( I honestly never thought I would turn down a dance but I guess I was wrong )
Where is my baby ? I can’t dance without him …..
Meanwhile my friends think I am being Mr. Snooty for avoiding them and my family is scared I will get sick from staying in my room day after day. But I see no point in going out because it ends up with me sulking and missing Rhys and offending whichever unlucky soul happens to be with me at the time. So it is youtube binge watching vlogs and a jar of cookies day after day.
Gosh ! I really need to stop feeling sorry for myself. About time I pull myself together.
Maybe tomorrow. Right now I still have my hand in the cookie jar. A few more vlogs to watch. I think I will watch other happy gay couples till I fall asleep.
P.S.- Meanwhile my baby just messages and he is getting Fro-Yo! Oddly enough, I am more excited by this than I have been all week!
So you guys know how Rhys is in Kentucky working on a research project. Well, today was his first day at work and while he was walking down the sidewalk, a shitty excuse of a man (sorry for the language) calls outand start ranting racist comments about Asians. Rhys is very shaken by the incident . And I am fuming.
I just can’t understand why would someone want to go out of their way to be mean. How can people be so hateful?
I need to go and blow off some Steam. Maybe punch a pillow or brake something . Coz I am so angry right now that I can’t even comfort Rhys.
Talk to you all later
Just an appeal PLEASE do not pass comments on strangers . If you don’t have anything nice to say then say nothing coz that is much better than being mean.
Rhys out did himself this time. He baked a cake for me ! A gorgeous moist fudgy chocolate cake with a chocolate ganache icing and m&ms ! And this was his first cake EVER !
Of course the Birthday eve meant a LOT of kamikazes and LIITs and I think there was some food involved but I can’t really remember any more. Rhys of course got the wonderful job of driving a very drunk me home and tucking me into bed but sleep was the last thing on my mind. And I got my way too – after all I was the birthday boy, albeit drunk and naked by then.
The cake was delicious, especially off my bae’s lips ! What is it with dark chocolate , the rich aroma, the smooth texture that melts oh so slowly on your tongue – new realms of pleasure. Though I suspect the special service may have heightened the pleasure. I always was of the opinion that chocolate is too perfect to be improved upon. Then Rhys did this –
Definite improvement …. wouldn’t you say ?
Love you Rhys :-*