Anniversary

As the new year started, so did a new chapter in our lives. This is the fifth year that Rhys and I are together as a couple and what a gorgeous time it has been.

When viewed through my eyes, the world has changed in these past four years. So much so, that I can’t seem to remember what it was like before I met Rhys. Every moment of this time is so special that I would not change it for the world. We have both grown up over the years into different people than the ones who started dating all those years ago. And time only brought us closer together, entwining our lives and times into this beautiful pattern that our lives have become.

The better part of last year, we had to spend apart. And no amount of texts or calls would fill the gap that the thousand miles created. So it was with great difficulty that we planned to be together for a weekend and celebrate our anniversary. And that is what we did.

One freezing Friday morning, I landed in Chicago and into melted into Rhys arms. And my first taste of America ? A chocolate fudge cake he had baked for me. Nothing could have made our reunion sweeter. And thus began our weekend in Chicago.

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You have no right to judge me !

Often I come across people who would say this to me in a pathetic pity tone “Oh you are committed.. You don’t know how it feels like to have random sex and hook-ups.” or “You are wasting your youth, your life.” or “Hahaha !! You can never realize the satisfaction in having random meaningless sex” or “You just a committed boring guy.” , and muhc more similar rubbish crap….

I wanna shoot out to all the single men in in the LGBTQ community that being in a relationship isn’t the worst thing in a gay’s life. I love being in a relationship, and I feel lucky to be with a guy who loves me more than anyone.

Yes I am a gay guy without any past hook ups or random one night stands. But I don’t feel that this is something I would regret in my life ever. I am not the kind of guy who can have random meaningless sex with a guy whose name I get to know in the morning after the hangover (and sex) !

No one has a right to judge me by passing such hideous comments on my relationship status, or by pitying me. Just because you cannot handle a relationship or get your shit together, that doesn’t give you any privilege or an upper hand in life to look down upon committed guys like me and say such disgraceful things.

Secondly, another irritating thing I have been hearing recently is that since gays are superficial, I should dress up properly so I can be liked by others based solely on my appearance. I am sorry but I beg to differ guys. I don’t believe that outer superficial appearance is everything. Stop judging a book just by its cover !!!

I do not and cannot bend according to so many stereotypes of the gay community itself that I would lose my identity eventually. We already have a lot of stereotypes of the straight hetero”normal” society. Please do not pressurize the people of your own community by putting up many more such stereotypes.

I just wanted to vent out my anger that has been piling up since a long time, and I had no one to talk to.

Good night folks !

 

Dealing with homesickness and much more….

Hello pretty people

I know it’s been so long since I wrote on our blog. Was occupied with travelling, studies. and application work for residency. And I had to come back to USA for research work at a university hospital in Kentucky (Life of a doctor, I tell you ! ). Finally I am back in US, and well-settled temporarily (or at least, that’s how I assure myself and everyone). Coming to States for the second time all alone was exciting for me initially, but this feeling vanished just few days after I landed here.

It will be a month in USA for me next week. I am glad that I managed through the last 3 weeks without getting home sick for even a single day ( Believe me, its a HUGE achievement for a guy like me). Somehow I have been keeping myself busy with work, setting up the new place, exploring the city (sadly, this small city has nothing much to explore), occasional running sessions, and most important, cooking. Now only work and cooking seem to keep me occupied..

For some unknown reasons, I have been feeling homesick since past 2-3 days. I told you I haven’t been as homesick as I was during my last visit to USA. When I came here 3 weeks back, my research mentor told me that I will get homesick the most in the 3rd or 4th week of my stay here. And it is coming true. That’s so Freaking  !! I wish these weeks of peak homesickness pass away soon.

I have been in constant touch with my boyfriend Nick who is back in my home country, dealing with similar problems, not of homesickness, but of being alone. He has changed his daily routine and biological clock according to my local time (i.e., EST). Isn’t he such a sweet heart to do this. I miss him terribly here. May be living alone has its perks (as everyone says), but not for me. For me, living alone away from my boyfriend, family and friends is tough, and it is tough for Nick also.  I have mentioned all this in last posts as well, but I am proud of myself (and surprised also !!! ) for the fact that I am dealing with all these changes in a more mature way this time, and so is Nick. Talking over phone and Skype, or texting with each other is so comforting for both of us. I always wait for that beep on my phone for Nick’s text.

I am a very social guy, and have always surrounded by people, be it home or work. May be that’s why I am feeling lonely. Hopefully, I will get hold of things soon and not have such feelings. But I can’t say anything for sure.

For now, I have to go for a running session, because soon the weather is going to be pretty harsh, and make it difficult to even walk here.

Miss you Nick !!

Love

Rhys

All the Birthday Fun

Rhys out did himself this time. He baked a cake for me ! A gorgeous moist fudgy chocolate cake with a chocolate ganache icing and m&ms ! And this was his first cake EVER !

Of course the Birthday eve meant a LOT of kamikazes and LIITs and I think there was some food involved but I can’t really remember any more. Rhys of course got the wonderful job of driving a very drunk me home and tucking me into bed but sleep was the last thing on my mind. And I got my way too – after all I was the birthday boy, albeit drunk and naked by then.

The cake was delicious, especially off my bae’s lips ! What is it with dark chocolate , the rich aroma, the smooth texture that melts oh so slowly on your tongue – new realms of pleasure. Though I suspect the special service may have heightened the pleasure. I always was of the opinion that chocolate is too perfect to be improved upon. Then Rhys did this –

Definite improvement …. wouldn’t you say ?

Love you Rhys :-*

Nick

Work in progress

Rhys is still so far away and the time apart is torture. The time difference makes it all the worse. I don’t know how other couples in long distance relationships manage to keep their sanity coz I have been very nearly driven mad by longing!

Started work on a new painting – Alone.

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A work in progress at the moment…… Acrylic on paper

Trying to channelize all the pain of seperation and vent it out on the paper so it stops gnawing at my heart …..

Be back soon Rhys

Love
Nick

Save the Last Dance for me………..

Another break- up ….. Another relation went kapuuut …….

And in case you are wondering, NO its not Rhys and me I am talking about …. A common and very dear friend of ours broke up with his boyfriend.

Their’s was a candle in the wind sorta deal. Whirlwind romance with roses and public declarations of love, names tattooed within a couple of months …. and then fights and hurt feelings …. to one drunken night when our friend got a little too drunk and was falling all over the street but his boyfriend rather than see him home safe and sound just couldn’t wait to go off partying some more ditching our friend to get run over on the road ! So the next day they broke up ….over the phone, no less…..

Just makes me wonder … What exactly goes into a successful relationship ? Why did Rhy and I work out while quite a few relations around us kept crumbling away ?

As I sat pondering these questions, Rhys sends me his love with this song in a text …..

And so I thought….. Screw the reasons…. i’ll just enjoy the moment, the song and my gorgeous darling …… And dance with him !!!

 

Till next time

Love

Nick

 

A year and a half to the day !

A year and a half ago, Rhys blindfolded me and I opened my eyes to a world that had forever changed for me. No it was not love at first sight, we didn’t just know that we’re soul mates but what Rhys knew is that he loved me and had the courage to follow his heart no matter what the consequences might be.  And so a year and a half ago I had a boyfriend in this adorable, charming, caring, cute guy who is also forever keeping me on a tight lease, the no – nonsense sorts and a complete drama queen !

We started out on the premise that we’d stay together as long as it made sense for us to be with each other – not the most romantic of starts i know! But as the days rolled in weeks and then months I realized that being with Rhys was the only thing that made sense, that felt right. And so we didn’t really fall in love as much as grew into that wonderful warm feeling.

What can I say of the man who took a lanky, nerdy and obnoxious boy and saw beyond that harsh exterior;  my knight in shining armor who freed my heart off the fear I had never realized had held me captive. I have never been able to express how lucky i consider myself that you came into my life Rhys. You made me believe in myself once more, believe that I too deserve to be happy, to be loved, to be me.

Here’s one of our fav songs, something which always feels like it was written just for us !