Often I come across people who would say this to me in a pathetic pity tone “Oh you are committed.. You don’t know how it feels like to have random sex and hook-ups.” or “You are wasting your youth, your life.” or “Hahaha !! You can never realize the satisfaction in having random meaningless sex” or “You just a committed boring guy.” , and muhc more similar rubbish crap….
I wanna shoot out to all the single men in in the LGBTQ community that being in a relationship isn’t the worst thing in a gay’s life. I love being in a relationship, and I feel lucky to be with a guy who loves me more than anyone.
Yes I am a gay guy without any past hook ups or random one night stands. But I don’t feel that this is something I would regret in my life ever. I am not the kind of guy who can have random meaningless sex with a guy whose name I get to know in the morning after the hangover (and sex) !
No one has a right to judge me by passing such hideous comments on my relationship status, or by pitying me. Just because you cannot handle a relationship or get your shit together, that doesn’t give you any privilege or an upper hand in life to look down upon committed guys like me and say such disgraceful things.
Secondly, another irritating thing I have been hearing recently is that since gays are superficial, I should dress up properly so I can be liked by others based solely on my appearance. I am sorry but I beg to differ guys. I don’t believe that outer superficial appearance is everything. Stop judging a book just by its cover !!!
I do not and cannot bend according to so many stereotypes of the gay community itself that I would lose my identity eventually. We already have a lot of stereotypes of the straight hetero”normal” society. Please do not pressurize the people of your own community by putting up many more such stereotypes.
I just wanted to vent out my anger that has been piling up since a long time, and I had no one to talk to.
Good night folks !
Rhys out did himself this time. He baked a cake for me ! A gorgeous moist fudgy chocolate cake with a chocolate ganache icing and m&ms ! And this was his first cake EVER !
Of course the Birthday eve meant a LOT of kamikazes and LIITs and I think there was some food involved but I can’t really remember any more. Rhys of course got the wonderful job of driving a very drunk me home and tucking me into bed but sleep was the last thing on my mind. And I got my way too – after all I was the birthday boy, albeit drunk and naked by then.
The cake was delicious, especially off my bae’s lips ! What is it with dark chocolate , the rich aroma, the smooth texture that melts oh so slowly on your tongue – new realms of pleasure. Though I suspect the special service may have heightened the pleasure. I always was of the opinion that chocolate is too perfect to be improved upon. Then Rhys did this –
Definite improvement …. wouldn’t you say ?
Love you Rhys :-*
Happily ever after ???
‘ Happily ever after ‘….. three words that would be the end of all our fairy tales, a sendoff into the world of dreams as we were tucked into bed. And we would dream of the prince and princess and just assume that some day we will also have a ‘happily ever after’ story…
But that assumption went very wrong somehow… Coz I grew up … and realized that a happily ever after is only sanctioned for the ‘right kind’ of love. The society we live in has the power to decide who should we love and how.
Having personally been a survivor of the societal disapproval of my love story, I am trying to collect stories of people who went through the same… Please fill out this survey and help me in my mission to highlight the wrongs that we as a ‘miniscule minority’ are facing in the wake of the recent Supreme Court Judgement in India re criminalizing homosexual conduct….
One fine day, when Rhys and I decided to take a friend of ours to a gay party ( his first ). It was to be our first big party in months, so we were all super psyched. So we dress up , pick up our friend who was supposed to be “studying at a friend’s place all night” and got going.
Google turns up the most apt images at times !
Turns out the party was at the other end of town, so it was to be a looooong drive but we were all pumped and so time passed quickly. That is, until we came to the last traffic signal before we reach our destination. A car going across broke down right in front of us so we couldn’t move ahead and were stuck at the middle of the intersection as the lights changed and cars began heading straight at us. Thankfully they veered right and left to avoid hitting us but no one stopped to help the poor guy with his broken down car until I finally got down and had to stop traffic by standing in front of the cars ( felt like the Tienanmen Square Tank Man but with a line of sedans instead ) and then helped push the broken down car out of the way so we could move on and the traffic cleared up! Good deed of the day – check !
We arrived at the party, paid up and entered. It was a beautiful garden restaurant styled on Santorini with beautiful white walls and pebbled walkways. Rhys and I immediately headed for the nearest empty seats while our friend dragged himself along surely feeling stuck with a boring couple while he had many cute guys glancing over at him. It was quite a while before we realized that our friend must be terribly bored so we went out to the dance floor and tried to shake a leg but truth be told i just wanted to get back to my sofa with Rhys to lean on. But we played the good host and danced till our friend had his fill of hot sweaty bodies gyrating against him before we went out to enjoy the cool night breeze.
Doesn’t this seem better than a party ?! It does to me ……. Something wrong with that ?
So we sat on a bench and reminisced about the parties we used to attend and I realized that somehow I no longer enjoy going to these parties as much as I used to. I would much rather go to a cozy cafe and have a romantic dinner and then drive out for great cup of coffee than spend hours in these crowded, smoke filled rooms with the all too loud music and the smell of beer and sweat making me faint. No longer do I enjoy the lustful eyes on me as I sway to the music with my arms around Rhys. Even the appreciative glances at pulling off a particularly low dip no longer gets me excited. I guess we have morphed into the cocooned couple!
Am i growing old ? or just growing up ?
Hmm, something to think about !
The final year of Med School is harder than I ever imagined. Classes and case presentations go into all hours of the night and the books keep getting thicker and thicker till I finally gave up trying to haul them all the way to the Library and have instead started studying in my room. Of course, all this may just be my petty excuse for having disappeared from this blog for quite a while !
Quite a lot has been going on these past few months. Hopefully I shall be able to write about them all. In any case, I have forgotten exact dates and sequences in which these ‘events’ occurred, so I resort to the wonderfully ambiguous ‘one fine day’ phrase to help me out ! Here goes the first of the One Fine Day posts …….
One fine day, while the weather was unusually hot for this time of the year; Rhys and I sat sweating in my room ( from the heat and nothing else , for a change ! 😛 ) discussing lunch options he made a wonderful suggestion – lets have dessert for lunch. So we drove all of 2 km down to a quaint little market we had never been to before ( and i can’t think of any reason why not, considering we usually head out to the much farther markets ) and tried to find the little cafe which according to our friends, serves the best red velvet cupcakes in town. But this little cafe called Elma’s and Edward’s ( ain’t that cute ) turned out to be a really well hidden secret – or at least that’s what we thought since we drove up and down the street without seeing any signs of it. Stubborn brat that i am, I declared that I will eat only at that cafe and no where else even if it means I have to walk up and down the entire market street- and that’s exactly what Rhys made me do ( Gosh, he is finally getting a hold on how to deal with me……. will he change me into a better man ? I better be careful not to let that happen 😛 ) And I did find the cafe on foot ! Didn’t even have to more than a couple of meters from where Rhys had parked the car . Seems like even lady luck understands that a lazy ass like mine must not be forced to work ……not even by my own stubbornness!
The Holy Grail we were after !!!
It turned out to be the cutest little cafe with round white tables and mismatched chairs. We had a chicken sandwich ( on the chefs recommendation ) and for dessert lunch – Two red velvet cupcakes, one coffee cupcake, one slice of Victoria sponge cake with a filling of strawberries and fresh cream. No, we were not thinking about our waistline ! The food was divine. The grilled sandwich had an extra slice of bread in the centre drenched in olive oil which made the sandwich wonderfully moist. The cupcakes Rhys seemed to enjoy but I thought they were a bit dried out – we both agreed it was a let down from the high expectations we had built up. The Sponge cake however made up for it- it was light, airy, with the right amount of sweetness and the strawberries giving a delightfully fresh fruity contrast to the mellow flavors in the cake!
Sitting in a cozy little cafe and eating great food while I gaze into Rhys pretty face – This is how every lunch should be !!!
The perfect setting !
A year and a half ago, Rhys blindfolded me and I opened my eyes to a world that had forever changed for me. No it was not love at first sight, we didn’t just know that we’re soul mates but what Rhys knew is that he loved me and had the courage to follow his heart no matter what the consequences might be. And so a year and a half ago I had a boyfriend in this adorable, charming, caring, cute guy who is also forever keeping me on a tight lease, the no – nonsense sorts and a complete drama queen !
We started out on the premise that we’d stay together as long as it made sense for us to be with each other – not the most romantic of starts i know! But as the days rolled in weeks and then months I realized that being with Rhys was the only thing that made sense, that felt right. And so we didn’t really fall in love as much as grew into that wonderful warm feeling.
What can I say of the man who took a lanky, nerdy and obnoxious boy and saw beyond that harsh exterior; my knight in shining armor who freed my heart off the fear I had never realized had held me captive. I have never been able to express how lucky i consider myself that you came into my life Rhys. You made me believe in myself once more, believe that I too deserve to be happy, to be loved, to be me.
Here’s one of our fav songs, something which always feels like it was written just for us !
Have a “friend” that turned out to be a jerk? The first love who dumped you before you could say “second date” ? Or that sista who has been bitching behind your back ? You are hurting ? And pat comes the advice from your “well -wishers” – Move on ….. you are a better guy….. rise above the situation.
I’d rather just kill something…..take down a beast… slaughter and drink in my bloody victory….. and what better than his “holier- than – thou’ memory!
So lets leave all that “well meaning”advice for a (relatively) sane frame of mind. Its Bitchin’Time right now !! Get a bunch of your pals together, head to the local coffee house ( No alcohol – that’ll just turn you into a sobbing, desperate to get him back, pile of tears ) order your favorite brew ( I recommend white chocolate mocha – just the right amount of caffeine and cocoa to get those endorphins flowing ) and lets the tongues fly …
Take Him Down – from the bad hair style down to the out-of-season boots – and leave nothing, absolutely NOTHING in between. And dont stop till the dregs of coffee in your cup seem enough to drown the shattered remains of his ego ( in your mind !) And then bask in the cocoa filled glory of your victory !!!
Feel better, don’t ya ?
Hmm ….. Now lets move on and check out that adorable dude at the next table !!!!
Disclaimer – Following advice from this blog has resulted in insanity and fatalities. Do so at your own risk !