Stating the obvious. Long distance is tough. Like really really tough. Barely a month in and I already miss Rhys with a visceral longing I did not even know I could feel. How will I get through the remaining five months?
It is not that I am lonely. It is just that even with company, I feel incomplete. These past few years have had their good time and bad. But through all of it Rhys has been by my side. And now I seem to have forgotten how to be by myself. This past weekend some friends of mine took me to a party ( coz I have been staying cooped up in my room.) It was a lovely venue and ordinarily I would have enjoyed myself, but it just felt weird to be by myself. I felt like an odd bundle of elbows and knees. It just doesn’t feel right to dance with anyone else anymore ( I honestly never thought I would turn down a dance but I guess I was wrong )
Meanwhile my friends think I am being Mr. Snooty for avoiding them and my family is scared I will get sick from staying in my room day after day. But I see no point in going out because it ends up with me sulking and missing Rhys and offending whichever unlucky soul happens to be with me at the time. So it is youtube binge watching vlogs and a jar of cookies day after day.
Gosh ! I really need to stop feeling sorry for myself. About time I pull myself together.
Maybe tomorrow. Right now I still have my hand in the cookie jar. A few more vlogs to watch. I think I will watch other happy gay couples till I fall asleep.
P.S.- Meanwhile my baby just messages and he is getting Fro-Yo! Oddly enough, I am more excited by this than I have been all week!