Anniversary

As the new year started, so did a new chapter in our lives. This is the fifth year that Rhys and I are together as a couple and what a gorgeous time it has been.

When viewed through my eyes, the world has changed in these past four years. So much so, that I can’t seem to remember what it was like before I met Rhys. Every moment of this time is so special that I would not change it for the world. We have both grown up over the years into different people than the ones who started dating all those years ago. And time only brought us closer together, entwining our lives and times into this beautiful pattern that our lives have become.

The better part of last year, we had to spend apart. And no amount of texts or calls would fill the gap that the thousand miles created. So it was with great difficulty that we planned to be together for a weekend and celebrate our anniversary. And that is what we did.

One freezing Friday morning, I landed in Chicago and into melted into Rhys arms. And my first taste of America ? A chocolate fudge cake he had baked for me. Nothing could have made our reunion sweeter. And thus began our weekend in Chicago.

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Dealing with homesickness and much more….

Hello pretty people

I know it’s been so long since I wrote on our blog. Was occupied with travelling, studies. and application work for residency. And I had to come back to USA for research work at a university hospital in Kentucky (Life of a doctor, I tell you ! ). Finally I am back in US, and well-settled temporarily (or at least, that’s how I assure myself and everyone). Coming to States for the second time all alone was exciting for me initially, but this feeling vanished just few days after I landed here.

It will be a month in USA for me next week. I am glad that I managed through the last 3 weeks without getting home sick for even a single day ( Believe me, its a HUGE achievement for a guy like me). Somehow I have been keeping myself busy with work, setting up the new place, exploring the city (sadly, this small city has nothing much to explore), occasional running sessions, and most important, cooking. Now only work and cooking seem to keep me occupied..

For some unknown reasons, I have been feeling homesick since past 2-3 days. I told you I haven’t been as homesick as I was during my last visit to USA. When I came here 3 weeks back, my research mentor told me that I will get homesick the most in the 3rd or 4th week of my stay here. And it is coming true. That’s so Freaking  !! I wish these weeks of peak homesickness pass away soon.

I have been in constant touch with my boyfriend Nick who is back in my home country, dealing with similar problems, not of homesickness, but of being alone. He has changed his daily routine and biological clock according to my local time (i.e., EST). Isn’t he such a sweet heart to do this. I miss him terribly here. May be living alone has its perks (as everyone says), but not for me. For me, living alone away from my boyfriend, family and friends is tough, and it is tough for Nick also.  I have mentioned all this in last posts as well, but I am proud of myself (and surprised also !!! ) for the fact that I am dealing with all these changes in a more mature way this time, and so is Nick. Talking over phone and Skype, or texting with each other is so comforting for both of us. I always wait for that beep on my phone for Nick’s text.

I am a very social guy, and have always surrounded by people, be it home or work. May be that’s why I am feeling lonely. Hopefully, I will get hold of things soon and not have such feelings. But I can’t say anything for sure.

For now, I have to go for a running session, because soon the weather is going to be pretty harsh, and make it difficult to even walk here.

Miss you Nick !!

Love

Rhys

It’s My Birthday

Well okay if you wanna get technical , its not my birthday YET ! But I am soooo excited. The first birthday in ages when I won’t have to worry about exams and studies and hospitals and all. So super psyched !

Also, this is the last few days I get to spend with Rhys before I leave for a vacation and he leaves for his new job in the US. Have mixed feelings about that – though I am super super super proud of my baby for getting this job, I know I’ll miss him A LOT. The last time he was away for three months, it was torture. For the both of us. But I guess we’ll get through it.

Right now though, I won’t dwell on that.. Right now is party time. I know Rhys has an amazing two days planned and I can’t wait to get started !

Yay !

It’s ( almost ) my birthday !

-Nick

Bad Bloggers !

Hello all you lovely peeps,

Well, needless to say, we have been very bad bloggers. Over the last year or so we just haven’t blogged all that much now, have we ? And for that we are so very sorry !

Just a quick update for now.

Rhys and I have graduated Med School and now are officially doctors ! Yay !

Also in other news, Rhys is moving to Kentucky for 6 months starting Sept coz he got accepted at a research position there. And I am so proud of him ! But it means we will be living apart for 6 months 😥  So these days we are spending every moment we can together.

Till next time

Love

Nick

Work in progress

Rhys is still so far away and the time apart is torture. The time difference makes it all the worse. I don’t know how other couples in long distance relationships manage to keep their sanity coz I have been very nearly driven mad by longing!

Started work on a new painting – Alone.

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A work in progress at the moment…… Acrylic on paper

Trying to channelize all the pain of seperation and vent it out on the paper so it stops gnawing at my heart …..

Be back soon Rhys

Love
Nick

Save the Last Dance for me………..

Another break- up ….. Another relation went kapuuut …….

And in case you are wondering, NO its not Rhys and me I am talking about …. A common and very dear friend of ours broke up with his boyfriend.

Their’s was a candle in the wind sorta deal. Whirlwind romance with roses and public declarations of love, names tattooed within a couple of months …. and then fights and hurt feelings …. to one drunken night when our friend got a little too drunk and was falling all over the street but his boyfriend rather than see him home safe and sound just couldn’t wait to go off partying some more ditching our friend to get run over on the road ! So the next day they broke up ….over the phone, no less…..

Just makes me wonder … What exactly goes into a successful relationship ? Why did Rhy and I work out while quite a few relations around us kept crumbling away ?

As I sat pondering these questions, Rhys sends me his love with this song in a text …..

And so I thought….. Screw the reasons…. i’ll just enjoy the moment, the song and my gorgeous darling …… And dance with him !!!

 

Till next time

Love

Nick

 

Will it Get Better ?

I know I have been gone for a really long time ….. and I have finally gathered up the courage to say why. In Dec 2013, the Supreme Court of India re-instated an archaic law that punishes “carnal intercourse against the order of nature” with life imprisonment – in effect referring to gay sex. The public discussion that followed compelled me to be vocal about my support for the LGBTQ community and on an impulse I came out to my father.

 

The repercussions were far from pretty. Not only did he completely reject my sexuality he also threatened to put a bullet through his head if I did not agree to ‘change’ . I finally agreed to see a psychiatrist hoping my father would listen to a professional. And the pysch ended up telling me that it was just a phase and I could get over it if I start hanging around girls.

 

Since then I have been living a double life – Lying to my father about trying to change and hiding every aspect of my relationship. It has driven me to the verge of suicide several times. Lucky for me, I found a therapist who was sympathetic and understanding and helped me a lot . She taught me to distract myself in the moments of extreme darkness and find a vent so that is what i am doing today…. right now…… coz I feel like dying more often than even I dare to admit to myself.

 

The only thought that stops me is that there is a wonderful guy who loves me and I can’t bear to do that to him. And that is what i am trying to repeat to myself until this darkness passes away.

Rhys loves me

And I love him

And I can’t hurt him

I can’t be the reason he has tears

I can’t make him hold my cold body

I can’t break my promise of a lifetime together

I just can’t kill myself

I will NOT allow it

I love Rhys.