Its been 2 days since I returned from a 2 week long vacation cum work leave from Netherlands. Today i met Nick after 2 long weeks and we both hugged each other like anything. Those last two weeks had been so lonely for both of us without each other.
I went to Netherlands on 7 July and we had spent a long night together before i left that day. On reaching there, I thought i will get busy with my work and stuff and these 2 weeks will pass very rapidly. But just after a day, i started missing him like hell and thought “Dude he is my boyfriend and i haven’t seen him in last 2 days and wont be able to see him for the next 2 weeks…OMG.. how will i survive..”. I called him at that very instant and talked to him for around 5mins and got some relief and we decided we will chat every night at a fixed time
.
Then we started chatting almost every night since then but because his laptop had crashed, so we couldn’t skype and had to resort to just gmail or watsapp, and believe me those simple chats were the best part of my trip. 🙂 I used to send him few pictures everyday and we used to discuss how our day was. And let me tell you, Nick was my sole support there whenever i got upset and talked to him to make my mood better and he always succeeded.
Interestingly, Nick asked me to go to clubs whenever possible and check out many guys there and flirt with them (Mr. Liberal Boyfriend.. lolzzz….). And i did as he said (me being an obedient boyfriend… 🙂 ) and checked out many guys there and a guy there even winked and smiled at me, but at that time i had to leave ’cause my friends were leaving and so nothing happened after that.
Anyhow, those 2 weeks passed without Nick and when i came back, we hugged each other so tightly, made out like passionate lovers and had sex like wild animals.. hahahahahaha.. 😀 :D. And i also gave him his gift which i got for him from Netherlands.
After all this, we were just lying in each other’s arms. Just then Nick asked me something. He asked me what will be our future as we both know it’s not possible and practical in a society where we live, to get married and live together. We also discussed about the girls in our lives (lets call my girl G and his girl H). He loves H as much he loves me but he said he can’t leave me, and doesn’t know now what will he say to H. He is confused about all this. Moreover, he asked me if i am ever going to ask out G, and i said I won’t. NIck emphasized further that both of us already knew its not going to work out between two of us (Nick and me) as a long term relationship, considering the fact that our “conservative society” wont accept it. But on the contrary, we both are extremely happy at the time and we don’t want to break up such “a beautiful relation called Love” just for the future which is still unknown to us…!!!
This discussion was left in the middle as we both had to got for some work. I came home but since then, i haven’t been able to stop myself from thinking about it. Although we started dating each other only after discussing the consequences and we very well knew that we will have to break up eventually, but somehow in these past 6 months, an extremely wonderful relation has grown in between us, beyond the limits of explanation in words. It’s more than love, more than friendship, more than just a brother… I know it will sound very melodramatic to you all, but its all true.
Nick, i haven’t posted it here to upset you or anything but to express what you mean to me and that the dilemma which u are facing now, i have been facing since a long time but i never cared to look into it as it would have made me sad altogether. I got a bit sad today when u said ” we both knew already that there is no future in our relation……..” but that sadness didn’t hit me at that time ’cause i was with you and when i m with you, no negative thing can affect me.
My take on this would be “ I don’t want to think about it and be happy with whatever time i have with you.. I can lie to myself about the fact that we can’t be together forever and live with this false belief, so that both of us can stay happy for as long as possible….. “
I would appreciate it if the readers of this post could suggest us something.
Love
Rhys
beautiful relation called love... 
This is a lovely and honest post. I just want to say three words to you: “Follow your heart”. I find your words “there is no future in our relationship…” really sad. Of course there is. The future is in your hands (and hearts). Love one another and plan your road forward from there. Have confidence in your feelings for each other, and resolve to show the world what you know to be your true love! Don’t lie – ever. It doesn’t help.
Thanks a lot tonycavanagh for reading the post.. I appreciate your comments.. But its not possible for the two of us to “follow” our hearts in such a conservative society where we live…
Anyways, i still appreciate for what you wrote here.. We will try to find out some solution to it.. 🙂 🙂
I think what you wrote,can break any soul!Really!So just know that all those broken souls are with you both.
I can not say that I understand what you are going through,but I can feel your braveness.You are braver than to lie to yourselves,just as you didn’t since you came to believe the truth is inside you and is not what you have to see outside,not that everyone wants you to believe.So you started this relationship.Just don’t give up now.
Of course you are the only one who can find the best solution.
I have said before don’t rush to it.But if you need some move,maybe,just maybe!It will be good to start a challenge about this with your family.Maybe with the kind ones.
Let me tell you something,I really hated to think about the word “Gay” ,since I can remember.Really hated.But since about a year ago I came to understand and believe that word,to respect it.I found out it is not about just sex desire what we usually see in medias.It is about people,normal people,and love,and you are one of the best proof.
This can happen to any one in you family.Maybe they never spare time to really focus on it.Maybe they need a trigger.
Sorry to write so much….
wish you happiness and healthiness.
ZiZi thank you for reading and giving such a nice reply… 🙂 🙂
Thank you for your wishes… 🙂
Hey! I live in Delhi and I can imagine a life settling in with a boyfriend right here. And ok, I give it you that it is not something that I see happening around me, but you just need a house to yourself, nothing else. Family pressure is immense to marry, but at what cost? Who would be happy in this situation? Don’t begin a relation as valuable as yourself with a timebomb. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. I hope you get through this mess, because I would hate to see something come apart due to something as irreleant as a society. Be brave, others are just cowardly. If you show people that you don’t care, they would automatically follow your lead. It’s simple, really. You just have to do what you want. Follow your heart. And you know your heart is set on a man you love and live with. Best of luck!
Hi conanon,
We listened to our hearts and as u can see from our most recent post, we just completed one year of this loving relationship. As far as getting a house for ourselves is concerned, we are not yet financially independent. And anyways the thought of living away from our parents is something neither of us want to entertain. I sincerely hope it doesn’t come to that and everyone can accept us for who we are.
Thanks for your wishes.
Oh hehe. I forgot to see the timestamps! Congrats really. 🙂
Thanks 🙂