Just a few hours ago, I FaceTimed my brother and his fiancé. I had texted both of them around 2 weeks ago that I wanted to talk to both of them together and was wondering if they could call me next when they are together. I guess they both knew it was coming and had fair idea what I wanted to talk to them about, but they didn’t want to say it.
So today morning, my would-be sister-in-law texted me she will be meeting my brother for dinner and she will call me when they get a chance. I was busy this whole morning packing for my work trip ti Florida. So I didn’t have time to fell the nervousness or even prepare as to what I was about to say to them. I was thinking about it for a long time and knew that I will be straight forward and direct. So it was literally like ripping the bandaid off in one go.
At around 12.00 noon, I got a video call request from her. I picked up the call and we discussed a bit about their wedding preparations and random topics for first 5 minutes. Then she asked – what’s new? Since I had decided that I will be quick and straight to the point, I came to both of them by saying these lines in one breath – “ I guess you both know what I am about to tell you, but I just want to make it short and quick since we don’t have much time, as I will be reaching the airport soon. I am gay and I have a boyfriend of 7 years! And (to my brother’s fiancé) your brother knows because I came out to him in January when we met for the first time.”
I did it. Literally coming out to my brother and his fiancé in uber on my way to the airport. They both said – okay, fine. Cool. Your Instagram hashtags were very obvious. Apparently, they both had known for a while and even discussed about it but didn’t want to ask me directly. Both of them had a very casual reaction – “Okay. Now what? Are you telling mom and dad? When are gonna tie the know with him?” Those were the first questions I had from them. I guess I wasn’t expecting a very favorable reaction, but people are always unpredictable; and they sure did surprise me!! I reached airport and they had to go as well, so we ended our call but I was so happy and relieved that it went well. Funnily enough, they were more shocked at the fact that I had came out to my brother’s fiancé’s brother when I met him in January this year (for the very first time), rather than my sexual orientation. Haha!
A little background about this story- my brother accidentally found out that I am gay back in 2009 when I was in first hear of med school, but back then he had a very homophobic reaction, that he wanted to out me to our parents (he eventually didn’t, thankfully) and also left the home for around 2 months ro stay away from me and stayed in the dorm for that time. Since then, we never talked about it but I often faced (directly and indirectly) homophobic comments and reactions from him in the past 9 years, which always made me nervous that he might not accept me as who I am. But I guess he changed, maybe it was the positive effect from his fiancé, or maybe he just wanted to support me and realized that I am more than just my sexual orientation.
I guess now I can officially say that I am out to my brother, his fiancé and her brother. So I have some family support. Yayeee!! First step (and a huge one) towards coming out to the family. Coming out is always a scary thing, especially coming from a conservative family when you have faced such backlash in the past when you are accidentally outed.
I am glad that I can now safely go home after thanksgiving for vacation and know that there is some support among my family.
– From the rainbow sheep of the family (officially now) 🌈💕